Terima Kasih 2016

Assalamualaikum,

Sedar tak sedar, kita sudah berada di penghujung tahun 2016. Cepat betul masa berlalu kan? :') So, bila dah hujung-hujung tahun nie, mesti semua orang mula flashback apa achievement dia pada tahun tersebut. Jadi, aku pun salah seorang dari dorang. Hihi. *gelak gedik*

So far, 2016 nie banyak memberi aku pengajaran. 2015 aku kehilangan ibu aku, dan 2016 aku berusaha gigih untuk mencari diri aku yang sebenar selepas sepanjang 2015 aku bermurung/depressed. Alhamdulillah, I'm healing. 2016 aku seorang yang busy dengan karier aku.

Kiranya tahun nie aku dah takde masa nak fikir benda-benda lepas dan apa yang aku tahu ialah aku nak fokus pada masa depan je. So, aku bekerja dengan baik dalam karier aku di sebuah bank remittance. Selama setahun aku bekerja kat sana, aku happy je. Cuma haih, bila bos baru masuk, management semua dah lain dan kekangan ekonomi yang buat masing-masing jenis lepas tangan. So, aku taknak terus berada di takuk yang sama, berada di takuk yang tak selesa bilamana apa aku buat semua serba tak kena sampaikan aku sakit pun jadi issue. Aku emergency sebab motor aku rosak pun jadi issue. Sudah lah, better aku bekerja sendiri, lebih aman dan tenang.

Sebelum aku berhenti, aku memang dah mula buat dua pekerjaan. Siang aku kerja office, malam aku mengajar budak tuisyen. So, dari situ aku dah dapat dua income. Dan bila tutor aku lebih menjanjikan pulangan yang berbaloi, aku ambil keputusan untuk berhenti kerja di office dan bertukar lah aku sebagai freelance private home tutor. Heeee.

Bila dah ada karier yang lebih baik, maka encik kesayangan pun yang dah mula stabil meluahkan hasrat di hati nak hantar rombongan meminang. Mihmih. Jadi, pada tahun 2016 juga aku bertukar status dari in a relationship kepada engaged. Hihi. Terima kasih encik tunang :* Tahun depan insyaAllah kami disatukan. #roadtomarriage

Selain daripada tu, tahun 2016 juga banyak mengajar aku untuk survive dalam keadaan apa pun. Bila mana kita nie hidup sendiri tanpa ada orang tua, the struggle is real. Aku ingat lagi kadang-kadang tu aku takde duit langsung. Gaji lambat lagi tapi duit dah licin. Dalam akaun bank masa tu ada RM4.30 je. Nak makan takde duit, petrol untuk pergi kerja pun takde. Masa tu, Allahu, sedih yang amat. Encik tunang pun masa tu alami masalah yang sama. Memang sedih bila teringat masalah kewangan dengan kekangan ekonomi macam sekarang nie. Thanks jibby. :') Nasib baik lah boleh pinjam dengan kawan, Shanti. Shanti lah yang banyak membantu. Thanks honey. :'* Encik kesayangan pulak pinjam dengan kakak dia. Jadi kami nie rasa bernafas lah sikit. Thanks awak sebab sudi ada dengan saya dalam susah dan senang. :')

Jadi, untuk penutup tahun nie, aku rasa bersyukur sangat sebab aku masih diberi peluang untuk bernafas, untuk merasa bahagia, untuk merasa disayangi, untuk merasa ada majlis sendiri iaitu majlis pertunangan aku, dannnnnnn untuk merasa debar menghitung hari! Hihi.

Apa-apa pun, terima kasih 2016 kerana banyak memberi pengajaran untuk aku :) thank you for being such a good year :* Kiranya, kenangan manis lebih banyak dari kenangan sedih. Hehe. Alhamdulillah.

Dear 2017, please be nice with me ye? Hehe. I'm ready for a new year :) #roadtocareer #roadtomarriage #happy #afiqelida <3

Dear Prashanthiny

Dear Shanti,

Out of sudden, I feel like I really miss you. I was scrolling through my gallery in my laptop and I saw lots of our pictures together and it makes me miss you more. For 1 year, you were my strength in office. I still remember that I want to resign but you don't want me to quit, so I keep on fighting. *you know what's the issue :P but, I'm really sorry because I can't fight in the battle anymore. I lost. I decided to quit. But I really miss you :( it was hard for me at first to continue my days without you. :( and now when I know you're not okay, I feel more sad! :'(

You were there when I need you. You made me happy every single day with your silly jokes. You made me forget all of the dramas in office with your laughs. You treat me food because you know I love to eat :'D but most important is, you help me when I was broke. You lend me your money when I had no money at all to eat and for petrol. You always remember me when you buy ice-cream. :') you just stay silent when I was mad although I know I shouldn't be mad to assistant BIC XD you listen to my advice when needed. You got free love consultation from me too. :> I miss all of those moments! :( 

I'll put some pictures of us :')

Selfie with those silly face will always be our trademark. Haha.

Bollywood day with you. Remember? :')

I rarely hug you but perhaps I know that I'll be leaving, so it was good to have a picture of me hugging you :')

 Memories being created. Alhamdulillah for every good memories <3

Dear Shanti,

If you're reading this, please know that I love you, always. Although we're from different religion and race, but I really love you. I feel like you're my sister from another mother and father. :')

Shanti, life could knock us sometimes. It is our choice whether to stay down or wake up and build a new life. I know that you're having a bad situation now, but please know that this is just a phase. We will overcome it someday.

Do you remember when I was crying alone because of Afiq mistakenly bank in the money? I was crying, upset, angry and many more. But what would happen if I continue on crying something that could not be returned? Am I wasting my tears or not? Yes, I wasted my tears. I had cried for something that couldn't be mine. This is about money.

But please know that before this I also had my first love. And I lost it. It took me 2 years to move on. Moving on doesn't mean you had stopped crying. Moving on means you can totally forget your love. So, it really takes time. It was a waste for me to cry to something that couldn't even be mine. Losing someone doesn't mean you're lost. But it simply means "you deserve better, honey"

Last but not least, you will always have my shoulder if you need anything. Kajang and Bangi ain't that far though :p you can always whatsapp me if you need someone. You can share anything with me. I'm your personal consultant, remember? :* please bear in your mind that I will always support and love you no matter what happened. Okay? xoxo :)

Selesai ditulis pada 1:50 PM, 29 November 2016, Selasa.

Belum Bersedia :(

Assalamualaikum fellas :)

I teringat hari tu masa lepas engagement day I tamat, Makcik Pakcik I semua dah tanya tentang wedding preparation. Gosh! Totally not ready :(

Makcik I ada tanya lah tentang tema warna, katering, andaman, make up and etc pasal preparation and korang tahu tak apa I punya jawapan kat Makcik I? "Hehehe, belum fikir lagi Makcik." and Makcik macam puzzled and terus suruh I fikir cepat-cepat :(

Lepas tu I tengok kawan I punya preparation untuk majlis dia bulan 1 tahun depan and dia banyak dah siap. Masa dia list out the preparations, I terus jadi takut. Hahaha. XD Takdelah, cuba korang bayangkan, I took about 7 months to prepare for my engagement day. And now kahwin? *terkejut*

Then I ada lah survey apa perlu buat. Kena siapkan dokumen bagai semua, kena naik turun pejabat agama. Pergh. Memang sangat banyak urusan. And how I wish kahwin tu just akad nikah je without perlu fikir all of those kursus, documentation, persetujuan semua tu. Silly me XD

Paling tak boleh blah, I cakap kat Makcik I, "Hehe, nak rehatkan otak dulu jap. Majlis tunang baru je habis Makcik. Hehehe." Terus Makcik I marah cakap "Hey, mana boleh! Start dari sekarang dah kena fikir supaya tak kelam kabut. Setahun tu tak lama tahu? Takde takde, kena fikir cepat-cepat lepas tu boleh bincang dengan Makcik." and I sangat sedih. Sobs sobs. Betul juga apa Makcik cakap, sekarang dah sebulan setengah lepas I bertunang. Cepat je masa berlalu :(

But I belum bersedia :'( Pray for me guys. Doakan I terbuka pintu hati untuk cepat-cepatkan fikir tentang preparation wedding I nanti :') Buat masa sekarang, biar lah I and encik tunang fokus kumpul duit untuk kahwin dulu. Hihi. :') Till here, see you again :)

Selesai ditulis pada 3:11 pm, 12 November 2016, Sabtu.

Jauh di Mata, Dekat di Hati

Assalamualaikum fellas :)

Hari nie I taknak cakap panjang sangat since I'm out of ideas but then I macam teringat tentang satu perkara nie yang setiap manusia akan hadapi benda nie. :')

It's about friendship. Bila kita semakin meningkat dewasa, kita akan semakin berkurang kawan. Kawan still kawan but you rarely have time with them since masing-masing dah busy dengan life masing-masing. Ada yang busy dengan studies, ada yang busy dengan business, ada yang busy dengan kerjaya dan juga ada yang terbatas kerana jarak dan masa.

To be honest, I have a lot of friends since I nie banyak bertukar sekolah. Haha. I have my childhood friend yang duduk setaman dulu but until now dah lost contact. Kawan-kawan sekolah rendah pun banyak yang dah lost contact but not really because I've been updated about them in social medias. Same goes to Badlishan's friends and friends from Kesuma. Itu belum cakap pasal kawan-kawan kat kolej dan kawan-kawan biasiswa lagi. Haha. And not to forget, kawan-kawan satu company! :D

But somehow, I never forget about them. I rasa happy sangat bila tengok perkembangan hidup kawan-kawan I. Mana yang baru habis study and konvo :') yang baru bertunang :* dan tak lupa juga ada yang dah hantar jemputan perkahwinan, but Penang is way too far for me :'( Teringin nak pergi wedding kawan-kawan kat utara, tapi apa I boleh buat, too far. Nak pergi pun terpaksa fikir banyak kali dengan keadaan ekonomi merudum sekarang nie :( and, paling rare jugak ada yang kawan-kawan sebaya I dah ada anak and ada yang dah ada 3 anak! Haaa, see.

Dah jadi various group of friends kan? Daripada yang still study sampai lah yang dah beranak-pinak. Hihi. But no matter what, I miss all of them. Sometimes I rasa macam nak ulang balik ke masa lalu just to cherish moments with them. But, life must go on.

Dear all my friends, tak kisah lah yang rapat ke or biasa je, we're still friends and I really miss you guys. I kat sini sentiasa doakan yang baik-baik untuk korang and insyaAllah, may Allah bless all of you always :* please know that I tak pernah lupakan korang pun walaupun ada yang kenal dari darjah 1 hihi. Korang jauh di mata tapi dekat di hati. Best of luck in whatever you're doing now and I doakan semoga semua urusan korang dipermudahkan dan dibagiakan selalu oleh-Nya. Till here, assalamualaikum :)

Selesai ditulis pada 11 November 2016, 1:32 pm, Jumaat.

I Miss You Mama and Abah :'(

Assalamualaikum..

Last two weeks, it was one of my big day which is my engagement day. The celebration was superb and incredible and a big applause should be given to my Pakcik and Makcik for all of their hard work in making my big day as an accomplishment <3

But somehow when I start to re-flash back on that big day, I know something meaningful was not there. Everything was perfect, but it was just my kind of feeling.

MY PARENTS. My parents were not there :( My father had passed away when I was 15 years old because of heart attack. And I miss him so much :( I know that if my father was there on my e-day, he'll definitely be the one who speaks for the girl's side. And I bet that everyone will love him just the way he is because he has his own aura which makes him as adorable as he is.

And the one that breaks my heart most is my mother was also not in the celebration. My mother had passed away last year on 15th January 2015 (15th Jan is my father's birthday). :(

I could not help it when I almost cried on that day because they were not there but somehow I have to be strong so I can't cry but deep in my heart, I cried a lot. Then, I saw my sister's updated her status in facebook regarding my parents was not there in our big days. It breaks my heart into pieces :(

Dear Mama and Abah, alhamdulillah we are still moving on without both of you. But please know that we'll never forget you and we always wish to meet you. Fifi is married and he already has a son. His son is very cute. I surely know that both of you would really love to hug and kiss your first grandchild. :) Nina is now an engineer and she works in a great company and I know that both of you will surely happy to know about this. :) Mama and Abah, Lily has been promoted to become a branch in charge. She is now a branch manager. She's still with the same company for almost 6 years. I'm sure that both of you proud with Lily. Me? Alhamdulillah, I'm a private home tutor now and I'm engaged! I'm engaged to Afiq, the one that you told him to take good care of me. Alhamdulillah, he really take good care of me, Mama. I wish that Abah could met him too but it's okay. Allah loves Abah more. I'm happy that at least you could meet him before you go, Mama. :')

Everything goes well but somehow something is missing, which is both of you. Please know that we really miss you two. I wish that you guys are here to celebrate my big day but I know, I can only wish for it. :( Take care over there, Mama and Abah. I'll meet you one fine day. Al-fatihah to my beloved Mama and Abah. :')

Selesai ditulis pada 5:54 PM, 18 October 2016, Selasa.

Officially Engaged to Muhamad Afiq :)

1 Oktober 2016

Tarikh keramat bagi kami berdua. We are a step closer to marriage, alhamdulillah :) pada hari ini, (flashback) kami berdua selamat mengikat tali pertunangan. Majlis alhamdulilah, sangat meriah :D

Jemputan ke majlis kami adalah seramai 200 orang. Haa, ramai tak? Hehe. Majlis kami berlangsung di teratak ibu saudara tercinta bertempat di Bandar Tasik Kesuma. Alhamdulillah, Makcik dan Pakcik (wakil orang tua saya) selaku tuan rumah banyak memainkan peranan dalam melaksanakan majlis pertunangan kami berdua :) Terima kasih Makcik dan Pakcik :*

Majlis bermula pada pukul 11.30 pagi dan rombongan pihak lelaki sampai pada pukul 11.40 pagi. Okay, masa sesi perbincangan, I memang takde hihi. I kena menyorok dalam bilik. Haha. So I'll share some pictures masa sesi perbincangan pertunangan ;) Biar gambar berbicara :) *klik pada gambar for full picture*

Selesai berbincang, I pun berjalan lah keluar dari kamar menuju ke pelamin untuk disarungkan cincin oleh bakal ibu mertua. Hihi. Masa nie, nervous yang amat babe. Cuba you bayangkan you keluar dari bilik, semua orang tengok you. Dan kiranya you ialah princess of the day. Ha gitchew. Hihi. More pictures......

Cincin dalam bekas bersedia untuk disarungkan

The most precious moment, masa disarungkan cincin oleh bakal mertua :) Time nie dalam hati rasa ada taman. Haha. :D

Future mother-in-law :*

Alhamdulillah, selamat menjadi tunangan orang. Hihi. I was so happy and excited and all of the nervous I felt has gone. :) So, lepas bergambar dengan ibu encik tunang, maka beramai-ramai lah yang datang ke pelamin nak bergambar dengan princess of the day. Kihkih. Sorry, sis tak boleh move on dari gelar diri as the princess of the day. Haha. Belanja gambar lagi.....

Masa keluar dari kamar, sebelum disarungkan cincin. Hihi.

Bergambar dengan siblings :* Dua dari kiri ialah sepupu but I feel like she's my own sister :)

Anak mama dan abah :* Missing in picture is Abang. Puas cari mana dia masa tu. -.-"

 And then bergambar dengan ibu-ibu saudara :) paling kiri sepupu ye. Hihi :) Excuse my over-excited face. Haha.

Ini dia para gadis kesayangan. Ada yg dah kahwin ye. Hihi. Thank you for coming girls :*

Yang kiri datang jauh dari Kelantan just to attend my e-day. Thank you Nurien :* Yang kanan datang dari Kuala Lumpur just to celebrate me. Both of them help me a lot, alhamdulillah. Thank you BFF :*

Another favourite photo of the day :)

Rakan sekolah yang datang. Thank you Azie, Tasya dan Zatie :*

Lepas dah ber-photoshoot di pelamin, masa menjamu selera. Hihi. Actually, gambar masa orang makan, photographer tak ambil banyak sangat :( so ini adalah sebahagian dari suasana bawah canopy :)

A part of the doorgifts :) Doorgifts habis cepat sungguh. So bayangkan lah ramai ke tak ramai yang attend I punya engagement :)

Orang paling kuat sebelum majlis, semasa majlis, dan selepas majlis. Thank you so much Pakcik dan Makcik. Lida sayang Pakcik dan Makcik :*

Duk potpet potpet, I langsung tak tunjuk gambar tunang I kan? Hihi. So, the below pictures will show you about him, Muhamad Afiq is the name given. Hehe. We got engaged on our 3rd anniversary :)

Kitorang pakai sedondon. Hihi. Alhamdulillah semua berjalan dengan lancar :)

Selesai bergambar kat rumah, kitorang buat outdoor photoshoot. Hihi. So, I nak belanja sikit gambar outdoor dengan encik tunang dan jugak para gadis kesayangan :) 

Haaa, cantik tak gambar kitorang masa outdoor? Hihi. This is just a part of it. Kalau nak upload semua gambar masa hari majlis, memang 500++. Boleh muntah kalau korang tengok nanti. Hahahahaha XD Actually I agak sedih sebab officemate I tak boleh datang since they have to work. Kalau tak, boleh ada gambar sekali dengan diorang :( especially my special gundhuci, Shanti. Why you takde masa I ber-photoshoot :'(

So, sampai sini jelah kot? Nanti I update lagi if ada apa-apa yg seronok untuk blog I as long as blog I nie tak bersawang. Hahahaha. Doakan hubungan kami berkekalan hingga ke jinjang pelamin dan selama-lamanya ya? Heeee. Xoxo :*

Selesai ditulis pada 5:34 PM, 12 Oktober 2016, Rabu.

Counting Days :)

Tik tok tik tok.....

Cepatnya masa berlalu. Sedar tak sedar tinggal lagi beberapa hari je nak jadi officially taken dah. Tinggal lagi 39 hari! Huh, banyak benda belum siap lagi nie.

Hantaran - baru barang hiasan je beli. Barang hantaran belum lagi.

Pelamin - alhamdulillah dah cuma belum decide design lagi. Rambang mata :D

Doorgift - beg dan doorgift alhamdulillah dah settle :)

Katering - katering untuk 200 pax pun alhamdulillah dah :)

Khemah - on the way untuk book! :O

Cincin - hujung bulan nie cincin hunting. Yeayyyyy! :D

Baju - sama, hujung bulan nie jugak -.-

Veil - boleh geng dengan baju jugak hihi. Beli baju dulu baru boleh order veil. Order dari Ipoh gitcheww. Kelas tak mak jah? Kihkih. >.<

Jemputan - alhamdulillah dah. Harap-harap all of my bestfriends could attend my engagement :')

Apa-apa pun, doakan semoga majlis pertunangan kami berjalan dengan baik ye? Amin amin. 1 Oktober 2016 *counting days* *excited* *nervous* >.<

Selesai ditulis pada 23 Ogos 2016, 4:43 pm

Nukilan Istimewa buat Kaum Hawa

Assalamualaikum fellas, rindu pulak nak update blog. Hihi. Okay, just want to share a quote that I've got from facebook. This specially applies to those girls yang nak move on after a terrible break off due to a useless man. Kita nie sebagai perempuan, we must have our own pride. Kat bawah nie ada quote tu. Baca dan fahamkan :)

"When a man is truly interested in you, there will be no need for you to do the pursuing. Men are born to pursue women. Yes, you can pursue a man if you want to, but in most cases that's just an obvious sign that he's not into you. It's not natural for a man to sit back and let woman do all the work. For a man who claims to like you to sit back and allow you to do all the calling, texting, dating arrangements , talks about the future etc, it's pretty obvious where you stand in that man's life. When a man really wants you, you won't have to chase after him like he's some celebrity who barely has time for a fan. You will be his priority"

So, got it? Please love yourself first instead of loving someone to infinity. Bukan infinity itu lebih baik kepada Allah dan parents? ;) #alfatihah buat arwah abah dan arwah mama#

And Alhamdulillah, I've found mine that appreciate me the way I am. #countingdays <3

See ya again fellas ;) xoxo

2016 Lembaran Baru

Assalamualaikum fellas :)

Dah lama dah aku tinggalkan blog aku nie haha XD bukan apa, aku sekarang nie bukan lagi student yang selalu free *tak lah selalu free*. Aku sekarang dah ada kerjaya aku sendiri. Actually, bersebab sebenarnya aku tinggalkan dunia blog aku nie.

Selepas kehilangan mama, aku banyak mendiamkan diri dari kawan kawan dan semua orang yang aku kenal. Aku just rapat dengan siblings aku and encik kesayangan mihmih. XD Aku kena depression teruk. And so yes, I decide to postpone my studies. I need time to heal myself and sekarang dah pun berlalu selama setahun sebulan pemergian arwah ibu tercinta :'( kau tak tahu weh apa aku rasa bila aku hilang satu-satunya kegembiraan aku, ilham aku, inspirasi aku dan kekuatan aku and so yeah, I decided to change everything and mencari balik diri aku yang dulu.

So, aku pun discuss lah dengan adik-beradik aku yang aku nak postpone study dulu until everything goes smooth macam dulu balik. Kau boleh imagine tak bila mana life kau ditimpa benda buruk bersilih ganti tanpa henti? Kau tak sempat pun nak heal dari problem sebelumnya tapi dah kau kena face benda baru. Tak ke kau rasa semua tu TOO MUCH? And then adik beradik semua pun setuju walaupun banyak desas-desus orang sekeliling yang tak setuju.

"hari tu dah boleh fly ke UK, taknak pergi. lepas tu nak postpone study pulak"

"kenapa nak postpone? kau tak sayang ke future kau?"

"jangan terlalu ikutkan perasaan. sementara ada peluang nie, pergi lah belajar elok elok"

"orangnya pandai tapi taknak further studies. apa lah"

"makin lama umur makin banyak. jangan dah tua baru nak study"

Korang yang condemn aku nie, aku ada beberapa soalan nak tanya kat korang.

"korang ada dengan aku ke time susah senang aku?"

"korang bela aku, bagi aku makan apa semua ke untuk tengok aku masuk uni?"

"aku kacau duit kau ke kalau aku postpone study?"

"dan APA MASALAH KAU KALAU AKU POSTPONE STUDY PUN? TAK GANGGU LIFE KAU KANN?"

Ini lah masalah orang melayu kita. Bila seseorang tu tak fulfil expectations kau, terus kau nak condemn. kejadahnya? memang dia dilahirkan untuk fulfil kau punya expectations ke? lain lah kalau dia anak kau. kbye.

Aku pun tak larat nak complain banyak-banyak so aku just bagi jawapan biar masa menentukan. Allah tahu yang terbaik untuk aku dan terima kasih atas so called "nasihat" kome kome tu. Appreciate sangat :/

And for those yang nak tahu apa aku buat sekarang, aku sedang bekerja di sebuah bank remittance international yang bergaji agak sedap jugak ;p So, you guys nak hantar duit ke country mana apa semua, just find me okay? haha. Australia ke, UK ke, Spain ke, Nigeria ke, Bangladesh ke, Indonesia ke, Nepal ke, apa semua lah, semua ada. Sebut je okay? Hahahaha.

p/s : aku sedang menaip di dalam office bersaksikan cctv di belakang aku. gila tak? hahaha. Okay lah, assalamualaikum !

selesai ditulis pada 2:12 pm,
Jumaat 17 Februari 2016